If you were to make a recipe titled Buttery Jam Cookies, what flavors would you expect to find? Butter, naturally. And also jam, correct? So why, then, did my Buttery “Jam” Cookies taste like…nothing?
They’re kind of cute, right? I used chunky cherry preserves from TJ’s, and last time I checked, they tasted awesome and flavorful on toast. Mmmm, toast. I added some pink food coloring so they wouldn’t have that sickly reddish-purple-bruise color that jam always gives baked goods. Pink cherry cookies? Sound great! I was pretty psyched to taste these after they came out of the oven.
I took a bite… cue *crickets chirping*
Another bite…how to explain my reaction?
Have you seen the episode of The Simpsons that parodies A Prairie Home Companion? Homer and the family are watching a Garrison Keillor monologue on TV. As the studio audience cracks up repeatedly at Keillor’s small-town dry wit, Homer watches stone-faced, not understanding the jokes. Finally, he gets up and hits the side of the TV. THUMP! “Stupid TV! Be more funny!” THUMP!
Friends, I felt like Homer Simpson. “Stupid cookies! Be more tasty!” THUMP!
We decided that maybe the cookies needed frosting, so I whipped up a quick batch of frosting, using more cherry preserves in the frosting to give it some extra cherry flavor. And still…nada. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not terrible. I actually liked the flaky, almost biscuit-like texture, and yes, there was some strong butter flavor. But…they needed something more, for me.
The worst part is reading the reactions of people who loved them, because a lot of folks seem to go crazy over them. I feel like these cookies are holding out on me. Is it malice? The cookie equivalent of Jekyll and Hyde? Or is this recipe only meant to be used with apricot jam, no matter what the recipe options tell us? If I make them again I’ll double the ginger and use apricot jam, to give them the full benefit of the doubt. But to be honest, I don’t know if I will make them again, after facing the heartbreak of tasteless cookies this week.